Tokeidai
by leshamarieinuyasha
Summary: Kaoru knows the magic spell put over the Ouran Host Club is slowly wearing off. His beloved brother will soon realize there are bigger and better things outside their perfectly protected 'twin world'. Letting go will be the hardest thing he's ever done.


So once again I have found myself turning to the lyrics of a song to express the relationship between my oh so favorite 'Forbidden Romance' couple Hikaru and Kaoru. I hope you'll love this fic and give me some good review XD

Disclaimer: Nope I do not own OHSHC or the song _**The Distance That Killed Us**_ by _**We The Kings**_.

_Italics: Lyrics_

_**Bold/Italics: Kaoru thoughts**_

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_**Tokeidai**_

_Taking a breath while believing all is fine_

_But this shaking and breaking mistaking words tonight_

_Like how does the clock turn to take you away_

_As minutes count hours the miles separate _

_This distance that killed us_

The fairytale was coming to an end. Cinderella's carriage was approaching a dead end road, and the magic would die. Her silken dress back into rags, six white horses back into gutter rats, her coach men into dogs, the wine into pigs bloods, her glass slippers shattered into tiny diamond like fragments, and the carriage turning back into a rotting pumpkin. Once Hikaru figured out that he had feelings for Haruhi, the bosses façade would fade and Kaoru would be left in the world they had created together alone. This was how it had to be though; this is what Hikaru wanted right? Kaoru had been working for months to make his twin's dream a reality. Hikaru needed this independence, and Kaoru was willing to sacrifice his happiness to give his beloved the one thing he wanted; freedom.

Standing in the distance, the clouds rolling in slowly behind him, Kaoru stands on the blacktop lost deep in thought. His ginger hair blowing lightly in the wind, emerald eyes focused in the direction of his "older" brother, a tear slips down is softened pale cheek. How long would he have before his Cinderella found his prince? How much time would he have before the clock tower screamed that deafening tune? Reaching for the bead of clear moisture trailing down his skin, Kaoru wipes the nuisance away. _**Crying won't make Hikaru turn around and say he's only in love with you, it'll only make him feel guilty. **_Forming his lips into that oh so feeble smile, the youngest twin follows after his double. _**It won't be long now, Hikaru. You'll realize soon enough that the spell is wearing off. The lies that we hide behind will disappear, and you'll leave me.**_

_And I'll wait for you_

_When you go away_

_To be like a star_

_You've already shined to me _

Lying on his bed, face staring blankly up at the ceiling, Kaoru feels the light shifting of the sheets. Standing near the bedside, ginger hair dripping droplets of hot moisture, Hikaru smiles as he climbs into his twins bed. A night before this one Kaoru would have found Hikaru's moist body comforting, but knowing that the hour glass was running out of sand it was almost too painful for him to bare. Worming his way over to Kaoru's side, the jade orbed twin wraps his arms around his double's middle. Blinking back the tears that wish to escape his stinging eyes, Kaoru wraps his lengthy arm around his brother's shoulder. The placing his head on Hikaru's soaping wet hair, Kaoru sighs softly into the orange flames.

"You're wet." Kaoru whispers burrowing deeper into the pit of flames.

"I'm always wet around you." Hikaru murmurs seductively as he tries to keep a snicker contained behind his rosy appendages.

"Very funny. I'm sure I'm not the only one who makes you feel that way." Kaoru replies distantly as envy boils up in the pit of his stomach.

"What do you mean?" Hikaru asks suddenly confused by his brother's sudden actions.

"Nothing…" Kaoru responds trailing off.

"Kaoru, what are you talking about?" Hikaru persists lifting his head off of his brother's middle.

"It's nothing, Hikaru. Go back to sleep now." Kaoru mumbles patting Hikaru's hair before closing his own eyes.

_**I know you'll leave me soon enough, brother. I can accept that with words, but with actions it's hard. I still want to feel you sleeping next to me in the dark, I want to feel your lips brushing up against my forehead, and I want to be the one you choose to be with for the rest of your life. I know you'll leave me though…eventually. You'll realize that we've been put under a spell, and that you can break it by accepting that you're not in love with me. I'll wait for you, brother. I'll wait for you until the day I die…hoping…praying…that maybe you'll come back to me. You're a great man, Hikaru. I only wish I could be as strong as you someday. Maybe if I was strong…I wouldn't have such a hard time letting go.**_

_Fake light shines darker everyday_

_There are things I can't tell you_

_Feelings I've had for so long _

_And today you are gone_

_You are gone _

The 'twincest' act; a game they had played for so long it only seems natural. But what happens when feelings start to develop? Feelings that will never be returned by the other. Every action, word, brush, and touch sent him a little bit more over the edge. Kaoru was getting lost in this supposed game of make believe. He was falling for the one person he knew he couldn't have, but it only seemed normal to react this way. The one person he held the highest in his heart could now be the one he shared his most intimate thoughts with. This was his original plan, that is it was before Hikaru set eyes on Haruhi. Now this match made in heaven would fade as quickly as it had been conjured up. He was loosing Hikaru as fast as the mirage was fading.

Drifting off to sleep Kaoru's mind wanders. _**Soon enough this warmth beside me will disappear. It's what I want…what Hikaru wants…so why am I finding it so hard to let go? **_Rolling over onto his side Kaoru can feel Hikaru following after him; the death grip on Kaoru's waist never loosening. _**After all of these years I'm still the one you cling to. But what will happen when the guise fades, and Haruhi is the one in your bed?**_ Rubbing his arms up and down softly, Kaoru stops briefly at Hikaru's elbow giving it a small squeeze. _**You won't forget about me will you, Hika-chan? I want you to be happy, but don't leave me alone to weather the storm. I don't want to be alone. **_Moisture trailing down his cheeks without him ever noticing, one of Kaoru's tears plips onto Hikaru's face. Tired jade orbs fluttering open Hikaru turns his face to his beloved Kaoru who has turned his burning eyes into his pillow.

"Kaoru, what's wrong? Kaoru, speak to me!" Hikaru demands shaking his brother's shoulders gruffly concern eating away at his pupils.

"It's nothing…Hikaru. Don't…worry. I'll be okay." Kaoru responds wiping at the unwanted moisture clinging to his cheekbones.

"Cut it out, Kaoru! What's a matter with you?" Hikaru growls suddenly pulling at his distant twin who is doing as best as he can to ignore the worry evident in Hikaru's voice.

"I told you I'll be fine! Leave me alone, Hikaru!" Kaoru snaps feeling guilty as Hikaru distances himself shrinking back into the covers.

"I don't understand, Kaoru." Hikaru cries trying to hold back his frustration.

"You don't have to get this, Hikaru. Just go along with it for now." Kaoru sniffles adverting his gaze back into the soft white fluff on their bed.

_**I don't want to hurt you, Hikaru. That's my last intention. I just don't need you feeling guilty for my behavior. Letting you go is the hardest thing I am ever going to do, so please be patient with me until I have fully accepted that you are fading away and my fantasy is rotting just like our carriage.**_

_And I'll wait for you _

_When you go away _

_To be like a star_

_When you've already shined to me _

It was going to hurt, but he hadn't anticipated that the knives would be so sharp. In Music Room Three the Host Club was preparing another fabulous Cos-play. Today they would be dressing up as valiant knights to be saviors for their lovely princess who came to be entertained for they had way too much time on their hands. Hikaru waltzing into the room first is dresses up in a blue suit of amour trimmed in silver. The feather on top of his helmet was light baby blue to match the rest of the suit. Standing next to Hikaru of course is Haruhi. She is dressed up in a silver suit of amour trimmed with silver. The feather on top of her helmet is jewel encrusted. Beside Haruhi is the king of the host club; Tamaki. He is in a traditional suit of amour gold very delicate yet regal. On top of his helmet is a small bejeweled crown to symbolize where he is ranking. Beside Tamaki is Kyoya wearing a black suit of amour. The exact opposite of the club's beloved king. His feather is silver like Haruhi's suit of amour. Mori is next in line dressed in a beautiful deep amethyst suit of amour, his feather is a pink one to match Honey's attire. Honey beside Mori is wearing a shinning pink suit of amour to match his Usa doll. On top of his head is a amethyst feather to match Mori. The last person to walk into the room, his helmets face guard covering his face, is Kaoru. Dressed in a deep forest green suit of amour with a light feather, Kaoru takes his on the other side of his twin. How much longer would he have to hide his true feelings for Hikaru?

"Until I am dead that's how long." Kaoru mumbles aloud causing Hikaru to turn and look at him very confused.

"What was that, Kaoru?" Hikaru whispers shocked as Kaoru turns away.

"I was talking to myself. It's nothing, Hikaru." Kaoru replies thanking god that his helmet's shield was down.

"Whatever you say, Kaoru." Hikaru mutters turning to look as a concerned looking Haruhi.

_**I'm sorry for burdening you with all this nonsense. If I was a man I could have let you go already. I know you want to be with her, Hikaru. I can see it in your eyes. Just hold on a little longer though…I'll let you go soon enough.**_

_I won't forget you yet_

_I'll sleep again_

_To the one regret_

_I open my eyes_

_I won't forget you yet_

_I'll sleep again_

_To the one regret_

_I'll open my eyes _

He had stormed out of the room; the moisture pouring down his cheeks like a waterfall. Too much to take in at one time, the one answer he knew was a lie. One of the customers had asked the Hitachiin brothers what they planned to do once they finished high school. Hikaru's response had cut Kaoru with a knife. To lie to him like that, to carry their act out this far, it was unforgivable. Escaping Ouran's ground, Kaoru caught a taxi to the mansion where Hikaru and himself were living in currently. Holding back the nearly uncontrollable sobs as his driver approached the mansion, Kaoru flings himself out of the taxi as soon as the front door is in sight. Racing up the winding stairs to their shared bedroom, Kaoru slams the door shut behind him. Then stumbling into the bathroom, he pulls out a small bottle of pills hiding behind a large bottle of anti-wrinkle cream. This would do the trick…this would help him let go of Hikaru forever. Crawling back into his bedroom, Kaoru backs himself up against their large bed. Pouring the contents of the anti-depressant medicine into his hand; Kaoru downs the little white orbs.

_**Hikaru, you must be so disappointed in me. Your brother, your twin brother, can not face the reality that you don't love him the same way. The 'twincest**_' _**only to be an act for the eyes was all to real to me. I thought that this dream conjured up in my head could one day be a reality. But I guess that is why they call dreams, dreams right?**_ _**They are if ever lived, lived short. Not meant to be…just like you and I. I'm sorry for hurting you, Hikaru. I'm sorry that I am so selfish, but this is the only way I know I can let you go. It is referred to by the Kamikaze that death is a beautiful thing, so please try to think of mine that way. I love you, Hikaru…**_

_And I'll wait for you _

_When you go away_

_To be like a star _

_When you've already shined for me_

_And I'll wait for you _

_When you go away_

_To be like a star _

_When you've already shined for me _

The lights were blinding; white like the wings of angels and warm like the sunshine. Opening a slit for each eye one by one, Kaoru stared out into the new environment around him. Adjusting to the sights and sounds, he slowly tries to sit up only to be pushed down by two firm hands. There tears gushing out of his jade orbs is Hikaru; his lips quivering at the sight of his younger twins cringing face.

"Am I dead, Hikaru? Or is this all just a dream?" Kaoru whispers is a soft horse voice.

"Neither. You're in the hospital, Kaoru." Hikaru explains the tears cascading freely down his cheeks.

"Hikaru…" Kaoru begins before he feels Hikaru's head in his lap.

"Why Kaoru?! Why would you do something like that?!" Hikaru sobs gripping onto his brother's sheets firmly.

"We're running out of time…I didn't want you to see me like this. I only wanted you to be happy." Kaoru stutters moisture now trailing down his face as well.

"What do you mean we're running out of time? Kaoru, we are so young and have a ton of life ahead of us. Why would you try something as stupid as suicide?!" Hikaru exclaims the sobs becoming even more intense now.

"I just thought you'd be better off without me. You and Haruhi…" Hikaru begins before he is cut off by a soft pair of lips on his.

"Don't say it, Kaoru. Don't you dare say you thought that I was in love with her." Hikaru stutters his entire body quivering "It would kill me."

"How'd you know?" Kaoru manages to say dazed from the feel of soft velvet.

"Haruhi and I have been talking lately. She's in love with the boss, and this helped me realize my feelings. Just talking to her about you gave me the courage to want to ask you to be mine. But then you ran off and tried to commit suicide. If I had been any later…" Leaking from his eyes Hikaru cries a fresh bout of tears.

"You wanted me to be yours? Hikaru, I thought you didn't feel the same way. I thought that you wanted to be Haruhi's prince." Kaoru whispers thinking back to Tamaki's magic carriage, the rotting pumpkin turning back into something from a dream once again.

"You're wrong. I've only ever yearned for you." Hikaru replies cupping Kaoru's face in his hand. "So don't leave me…ever."

_**The hour glass has run out of sand, but you can always flip it over. They say that time stops for no man, so why has it done so for me? Maybe chance or even fate; that doesn't matter to me. Let the hands of destiny reach the stroke of midnight, were no longer playing Cinderella.**_

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Okay so how was that? Tell me what u think okay? By the way Tokeidai means Clock Tower XD


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